What Is Beauty?

I have to wonder if sometimes things like cancer or war or other types of devastation are caused so we can see true beauty. Or at least see true beauty in others. Don't get me wrong- I am in no way saying that I am so beautiful, but sometimes an outsider can look inside us and see past our walls and be inspired. In the past three months I have learned more than perhaps my whole life could have taught me, but maybe this was one of the biggest lessons.

I began thinking about the meaning of beauty when I went to a meeting for a company that I do some contract design work for last week. I was coming from my latest round of chemo, and was waiting for it the "fog" to hit. One of the women in the meeting, who barely knew me, was having a bad day. Suddenly she looked at me and told me that I had the most beautiful hair that she had ever seen. I thought she might have been kidding until I realized that she was very self-absorbed and had no idea how bad I was feeling and just started looking at me and then moved on in her thinking. That was all she saw. She didn't realize that I was barely standing up, that I was trying not to vomit, or that I was needing to leave. I guess later on I realized I how bad my skin was looking so my "hair" looked better! When I left, another women, again one that I barely knew, seemed to be moved. She saw my plethora of cancer bracelets (I wear one that everyone has given me for support). She was touched by something she saw inside as well. This women was pulled by an inner beauty inside herself and wanted to do something to help. The first women began to complain about her day almost as soon as I left. The second said," Hey, we have nothing to complain about. Allie is working, her husband is gone, and she didn't utter a word that was negative. We need to follow her example. Didn't you notice the bracelets?" After a few phone calls they figured out what was going on. The next call that I received was an offer from these women to bring me a meal and a hug. The first woman, who had complimented my hair, actually gave me an apology! I was floored. She had made me feel so good, but she had felt so superficial for not seeing what was inside and the struggle that I was having. She turned her day around, and was smiling when I saw her. She began to look for a way to help me, and both of them glowed from the inside. These women showed me what true beauty was. I would never have thought less of them for doing nothing, but when they did I was so grateful.

I was so blessed to have these two in my life that day. They taught me something so important. They taught me to look deeper. Look once, look again, then act. Then pay it forward. I have tried to teach my kids that for every act of kindness we are given that we need to give one to someone in return to someone as well. It might not be the same person that we got it from, but that's ok. Is that what all of this horror is for? Maybe. Maybe that's what my husband is fighting for. Imagine how different things would be over there. Just looking for the beauty in all things is not so hard. It takes an extra second, and it can change a whole perspective. In fact, it can change your life. Is she trying extra hard on the outside because her heart is breaking? Does this one need a kind word, or a card in the mail? Just look for how you can paint the world. Maybe you can help to bring the soldiers home. Maybe you are the cure. You never know!!