Pulling It Together

It's not that easy to pull it together and try to figure out how to do this alone. I have been alone many times, and have been through a deployment before with him, but it was very different. Last time I had family around and friends that I saw every day. My marriage was a bit less secure though. This time there is no family but my marriage is better, which just makes it hurt more. My other half is gone so far away. I wish this stupid war was over and we could have them home finally! This time we are sending our oldest one off to college and he will miss that as well as her high school graduation. We are so close and I am already missing that. I am terrified that he will change into a different person like he did last time. I hope he will keep all his promises to me.

I am finding things to concentrate on, such as school work and my various causes. I am pouring myself into everything. Tonight the girls and I are celebrating Ostara, one of the lesser Sabbats. We chose tonight to add to the fun. I put a bunch of eggs outside with glow-in-the-dark paint on them and fun prize coupons inside with things that we can do together, such as movies, bowling, shopping, extra allowance, etc....they will have to search with flashlights and there is also a full moon. I adore them and we will have a ball. They need distractions too, and they time with me as much as I need them. I am so lucky that we are this close.

I have a list of things that I want to do while he is gone, and different things to try and accomplish personally. I am going to try and be positive, but this generally goes against my nature-hahaha.

If I think good things, surely they are bound to happen???